How Do You Handle Your Child’s Friends’ Parents Using You As A Free Sitter?
My daughter is 10 yrs old, very responsible and helpful, so on the weekends, I take her on outtings. Bringing a friend along I understand. But now it has gotten to be where other children want me to take them with us. The parent now seem to use me as free entertainment and overnight sitter. Today there were 6 children sent over here by 10am. I am really upset now because my daughter is 10, her 3 friends are 9-11 age spent the night and this woman sent over 3 of her grandchildren ages 2-4 over here to play. One was in diapers. The parents rarely give me money for dinner out, skating, outtings or etc.. They never take my daughter out to eat or take their children on these outtings. They take me they envy me for my entergy and all I do for the kids. I would appreciate not being used. One child went with us out of town, stayed 3 weekends in a row, before I ever actually met her mother face-to-face. I don’t want to hurt the children, but I am feeling used and taken advance of.
Tagged with: Child's • Free • Friends • Handle • Parents • Sitter • Using • Your
Filed under: Free Baby Stuff
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Kitty Cat you got your heart in the right place, and you must have great patience with children. But you are been taken advantage of. I bet these kid parent are saying hey go over to your house and they know that you will entertain them. But its bad manners of them not to invite your daughter out for the day. As the saying goes one to good turn deserve another. I don’t blame the children and don’t be hard on them. Its their parent who are taken advantage of you. But you have to be firm and put your foot down and say enough is enough. It would be nice if the parents had offer to give you some money when you took them places etc. But just shows you how selfish they and have lack of basic manners.
WOW! You *are* used and taken advantage of.
As the parent of a 10 year old girl, I can tell you that I never let my daughter go anywhere unless invited, and only if I know the parents. I need a sitter sometimes, but never have the audacity to take her to anyones house. And I need a sitter for good reasons like work and college.
Those parents are just downright rude! Never a thank you, sending kids in diapers! You must be a pushover honey, because people can only do to you what you allow them to do to you.
Stop complaining, and put a stop to it right now. Tell your daughter that when you invite a friend, they may come for a visit. Only then.
when friends call, have your daughter tell them that you are busy, but she can go to their house instead. give yourself a break, and teach your daughter to say no or she’ll grow up a push over like you.
Send a note home with each child:
“I love children, and enjoy spending time with them. Next weekend’s activities are: XYZ and will cost $JKL per child. Regrettably, only children between the ages M&N will be able to participate. I will only be able to accommodate DF# of children, so please CALL AND CONFIRM prior to sending your child to my home.
If you have younger children, and desire a weekend babysitter, please contact me at least one week in advance and I will give you my rates for that weekend based on the children’s ages and the activities I have planned. Thank you!”
Nothing rude, nothing out of place. You should not be expected to fund trips for your daughter’s friends, neighbors, and acquaintances.
When deciding how much money to attach to the activity, make sure to give yourself a buffer to help with gas, incidentals. Say you’re going skating and it will cost $5.00 to rent the skates, $4.00 for a kids meal, and $2.00 for a snack later in the day. Add another $3.00 in case you have to pick up an additional drink for the child. Keep the extra to pay for YOUR expenses. Two-three dollars is not too much to ask of them for you entertaining THEIR children while they sit at home and do NOTHING!!!
Sit your daughter down and let her know that the rule is she can invite X number of friends over per weekend, per activity, and that you MUST meet their parents PRIOR TO the friend staying the night – even if that means a meet & greet as they drop the child off.
If a child shows up uninvited, ask them to call their parents and let them know that they’ll either need to bring money for the day’s activities or pick the child up.
I know that some of my child’s friends have invited my child go to on weekend activities, and I always let the parents know when finances prevent me from allowing my child to go. Often, they OFFER to pay, and that is on them. Since you do not offer, though, those parents are in the wrong. I know I would reciprocate as often as possible whenever my free time and finances allowed (I’m a single mom, work full time, and attend school full time). However, I did not think it was fair of them to EXPECT me to reciprocate. Just as your neighbors should not EXPECT you to just let their kids tag along no matter what you are doing!!!
What a fun & loving Mom you are! Don’t let others take advantage of your kindness, set the rules down and stand by them!
It’s pretty much standard stuff with the kids your daughters age. I’ve had some of my daughters friends here 3 weekends in a row. Sometimes it’s like you’ve had another child. It doesn’t sound like their parents are ‘using’ you, at least not in a bad malicious way. Remember if you didn’t meet the mother face to face for three weeks, you were 50% of that equation.
I’d send the young ones back immediately. There is nothing at your house for any kids under about 8. If they are siblings of the older kids have them run them home. If they are just neighborhood kids call the grandparent and say your little one has wondered over here can you come get them please.
The best option is to talk….tell her about how you feel because if you dont the problem could persist. It is obviously unfair torwards you and payment and apprieation should be received. You are very kind and helpful in which to help out a friends parents yet should not be treated in such a way compared to a doormat. Highlight your feelings to them, and get payment in which you deserve
If they agree then at least then you shall be payed, but if not…you have the right to refuse. The children should understand. Say you are busy prehaps
you have a front door, and i bet you have a spine. use both.
Yeah you have to draw the line. You have a good heart and the free loaders take advantage of people like you. If the younger children are sent over again have the older children take them back home and once they return to your house lock the door and do not answer if the little kids come back and ring the door bell. As far as taking them out on outings you do that out of the kindness of your heart. If they give you money to help with the expenses that is a bonus otherwise do not expect it.
Good luck!
My home used to be like that. All you have to do is send the uninvited kids back home…no explanation is needed. Think about this, if anything happens to those kids that you were “watching” unofficially, the parents of those kids could blame you for their kids getting hurt on YOUR property and you know children get hurt or get into fights all the time. It’s just life…but you don’t want some crazy parents turning this around and making it look like it’s your fault. Yes, I have had this happen to me. Don’t be afraid of being a firm parent, you know you’ll still and always will be the cool mom
.
I would tell the kids politley that they need to go home because you have plans. And when you see their parents, or if you see them tell them that they need to ask you first if it is ok for the kids to come over because you have had to many at your house at one time and can’t handle all of them. Or just don’t answer the door. I feel for you, I know how that can get. But it’s your sanity that you need to kepp, not all those kids.