Is Parenthood Really All It’s Cracked Up To Be?
Sunday, January 17th, 2010 at
4:59 pm
I was hoping to hear from those of you who have kids – is it really as wonderful and fulfilling as every romance movie and diaper commercial would have us believe? Or do you just have to talk yourself into feeling that way because you don’t have any other choice?
What parts are the most rewarding for you?
What parts are the hardest?
Do you have any regrets?
What advice would you give to a young woman who is considering having children?
I realize this is a lot so feel free to answer as much or as little as you’d like 
Thanks!
Tagged with: Cracked • It's • Parenthood • Really
Filed under: Free Baby Stuff
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Put it this way: it’s not going to complete you if you are incomplete and it’s not going to fix you if you are broken. It is the ultimate sacrifice of you as a person.
Parenthood is a chance to create and hold real, loving magic in your hands and in your heart. But as wonderful as it is, don’t expect to reap the rewards of having a child the minute your baby is born. Being a parent is messy, emotional, complicated work. And it’s for life.
My advice to a young woman would be: complete your education, enjoy a satisfying career, find a wonderful someone to marry, and enjoy being a couple BEFORE having your child/ren.
Hope I helped.
Just like anything else in life, how you perceive parenting is all about your own attitude, your own life experiences leading up to it and what you put into it.
I find it wonderful and fulfilling, but that doesn’t mean that it’s always sweet & fun. But, facing the challenges of parenting together with my husband is just so much fun. It brings us closer together every day.
The best days are the ones where things are absolutely crazy, where I’ve already got an insane amount of parenting type things to do – PTO stuff, school, cleaning, shopping, work, etc – then, something new gets thrown in – foster puppies, family member needing help, etc – and, I get through it all, juggling schedules, working together with my husband, coming up with shortcuts, pushing through, finding energy, finding ways to laugh about it all, then collapsing into bed at the end of the day, knowing I faced and conquered some challenges, all while doing good things for other people. That is rewarding & fulfilling & makes you really feel like your day was well spent.
Those, also, are the hardest days
I don’t have any regrets. Well, actually, for me, it’s so much fun I only regret that I didn’t start earlier. But, I don’t know that I was ready to face all this & appreciate it when I was younger.
My advice for anyone thinking about having children is to make sure you’re ready to completely change the focus of your life. Make sure you’re ready to truly give of yourself all day long, often without a lot of praise or positive feedback in return. Be ready to not be the center of attention in your own life anymore. That’s not a bad thing, by the way. The new perspective has made me grow so much as a person. I’m finding such joy in touching others lives & trying to make a positive impact where I can.
Also, if possible, wait to have children until you find a partner, a support person, who is 100% on board with it, too – who will be right there in the trenches, working together with you, sharing the joys and challenges, laughing & sharing the wonder along the way.
i think it may be something like asking if mountain climbing, or playing guitar, or being an astronaut is all it’s cracked up to be. for some people (including me), it is wonderful. for others, it’s not what they would like to be doing with their lives (which is not a character flaw, btw, it’s just not for everybody just as chocolate ice cream is not for everybody. in fact, i think chocolate ice cream is a good analogy, because though it’s not for everybody, it’s for a lot of us!).
it is certainly a lot of work. for me, the hardest things are (i) that i’m constantly (even when in the middle of a sound sleep) “on call”; and (ii) worrying about my kids (some have health issues, but i worry about everything, lol). for me personally, the rewards vastly outweigh the hard parts. the rewards are nebulous and hard to define, but really for me it’s just about having so much love, and watching the miracle of an embryo growing into an independent and competent adult. i have no regrets whatsoever; i have four kids and can’t imagine being happier. my best advice is for you to spend time around little kids (they are substantially different in the flesh than as idealized creatures, lol) so you know what you’re realistically getting in for.
I am imagining it’s all the joy like in the movies but A LOT of hardwork that you don’t realize.
I’m only 15 weeks pregnant though with my first but that’s just what I imagine.
I just wanted to give you information from the other side of the fence……. not having children. It can also be very rewarding not having children. My husband and I don’t have children and we don’t want any. Why? Because we love spend time with each other. We we lucky enough to have the opportunity for a test drive with my nephew. He is sooo well-behaved and we absolutely love him…….. for a limited time. When he comes to visit for the weekend, we don’t have time or energy to spend on each other. We noticed that and decided that we don’t want anything or anyone to come between us. Also, I have noticed the change in my SILs marriage after 3 kids. She used to be so close with her husband, now they are quite distant because they have less time to focus on their relationship.
Financial problems is the number 1 reason for divorce. Since we don’t have the extra cost of raising a child, we rarely argue (meaning less than 1 time per year). We have money in the bank to pay for the vacations that we like to go on. We just went on a trip in august to France and Italy.
Also, since we don’t have to focus on caring for children, we have time to take care of our mental and physical health. We have time for the hobbies that we truly enjoy.
I still get to experience a lot of what parents do because I am very involved in my nephew’s life. We just get to do all the fun stuff. My sister is a single mom and can’t seem to handle parenthood.
I also find that I enjoy most kids (instead of having a preference for my own like most parents). I work with children as a substitute teacher a few days a week and really enjoy my work. And I have pets, that truly love me unconditionally, waiting for me at home. (Children do not love you unconditionally forever. They love you unconditionally until they reach a certain age. Then they rebel and only love you when you get them what they want.)
Find a spouse that you love unconditionally and will love you unconditionally in return. You’ll be happier if your in a happy marriage. Raising a child can be heartbreaking.
Its better than I thought, but harder than I thought. I never really expected how much the early sleep deprivation can get to you, but also how deep you love your kids, and how instinctual it is to want to protect them – kind of a mama bear effect.
I could go on, but the one advice I have, or might do differently is to live closer to family, grandparents, cousins, etc. Also to be both financially stable and in a stable relationship. As I said the extended family can help, so can it to have a great partner in it.
The first few weeks I admit…I questioned why I had a child because of how hard it is. I regretted making the choice of having one and felt helpless.
After the first month, that all went away and since then, I get happier every day. She’s my world and makes me full of sooooo much love and joy. I know that sounds super corny, but man, I wouldn’t give it up for anything. Now she’s 5 months old, finding her feet, eating cereal, laughing…
My only advice for a young woman considering is make sure you have support. May it be a bf, husband, family, parents… if you don’t, you will have such a rough time raising the child. It takes a village to raise a kid ya know. That and make sure you’ve got all the partying, going out, meeting friends… all that out of your system. Once that little booger pops up on your ultrasound, it’s NO LONGER ABOUT YOU! Period.
MOST PARTS FOR ME ARE REWARDING . FROM THE WAY THEY SMILE WHEN YOU COME HOME OR THE WAY THAT THEY CANT WEIGHT TO SEE YOU .ALSO JUST HAVING THEM AROUND IS MOST OF THE TIME VERY REWARDING AND MY CHILD IS THE GREATEST THING IN MY LIFE BUT ON THE OTHER HAND IT IS HARD . THE LOSS OF SLEEP GETS OLD , GRAND PARENTS SPOILING THEM AND THEN YOU HAVING TO DEAL WITH THEM SCREAMING BECAUSE THEY DONT GET WHAT THEY WANT , IT IS NOT ALWAYS LIKE IT IS ON TV BUT MOST OF THE TIME THE GOOD OUT WEIGHTS THE BAD. i DONT REGRET HAVING CHILDREN BUT I WANT TO WAIT A WHILE BEFORE I HAVE ANOTHER ONE JUST SO I CAN SLOW DOWN AND MAYBE GET SOME SLEEP.
MY BEST ADVICE IS MAKE SURE THAT YOU ARE READY FOR EVERY THING THAT THE LORD SENDS YOUR WAY WHEN THINKING ABOUT CHILDREN BECAUSE YOU COULD GET LUCKY AND HAVE A WONDERFUL HEALTHY BABY OR YOU COULD HAVE A SICK CHILD AND THAT IS VERY TRYING SO GO FOR IT WHEN YOUR READY THEY ARE WONDERFUL AND GODS BLESSINGS BUT THEY TAKE WORK SO JUST BE READY FOR ANYTHING
GOOD LUCK AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU WITH A HEALTHY CHILD IF YOU DECIDE TO HAVE ON AND IF NOT GOD BLESS YOU FOR KNOWING THE RIGHT CHOICES FOR YOU.
Deciding to love your children is a choice. But once you make it you cannot be persuaded to feel anything less than complete endless selfless love.
I say that because there are women who choose not to love their children- women who abort their babies, leave their children, or raise them selfishly with no thought for their desires, needs or long term development.
Every part of being a parent is rewarding, even the hard parts. The hardest part for me is knowing what best to do next to shape and mold my son into the proper functional adult I intend for him to become. The only regret I have is not having him sooner.
Considering chidren is not the time to be having children. You have babies because you are in love with them, from birth until you’re death no matter what, before you even make them. You make them because you know them before theyre even formed, and you love them completely. You make them because inside you is a desire to die consumed in flames for the sake of seeing them prevail.
It really is that magical and profound, and it really is that simple.
It’s all that and more.
But you have to remember, those commercials don’t show a sick Mom cleaning her KID’S puke off the bathroom wall/floor at 2 in the morning. They don’t show the child that won’t, under any circumstances, stay in their carseat. They don’t show the kids “finding” the noisiest musical instrument when you have a migraine.
My sister is childless and will remain so. She loves my children – but always had a hard time understanding.
It wasn’t until my middle child was in the hospital. She was probably 3 or 4 and had a horrible virus. The fever wouldn’t go down, her lips were literally BLACK and she was hooked up to IV’s, etc. It was so sad. I was in bed with her and she took the back of my neck in her hand and pulled me to her face. We were nose to nose and she closed her eyes, smiled and went to sleep.
My sister said it was then and there that she understand the depth of a Mother’s love and the adoration a child has for their mother.
My kids are my biggest joy and biggest consternation!
My favorite time is putting on music and dancing. If we can do that and clean at the same time, even better. My favorite look they give me is when I tell them that we’re going to paint.
My advice: Enjoy your children. Take care of yourself so that you can be your very best for them. Realize that the $400 toy isn’t going to be remembered when they are 30. The “letting us dance in the rain” or “Remember the time Mom wore footed pajamas to school for PJ day” or “Mom always made every party/play” is what they are going to remember.
I have a 2 month old and I can assure you that the movies and commercials make it a lot prettier than it really is. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have to talk myself into feeling that way but it is a lot of hard work. They never have a screaming baby on the commercials. BABIES do scream. It is most rewarding to me knowing that my baby loves me for me and not who I would pretend to be. It is also rewarding to know that when the world gives up on you your child will always be there for you. Sometimes I cry because my son is crying and I don’t know what to do, or because I don’t get a whole lot of sleep but I know that it is part of my motherly duty. I do not have any regrets of having my son. HE was a blessing to us because doctors told me I had endometriosis and would have to have surgery before I could have any. Then I still might not be able to. But one doctor told me to try fertility drugs before I did the surgery and here he is. Advice I have for you is to make sure the one your with is going to help out when you need it. And make sure you are ready to commit your self physically, emotionally, and financially. Because believe me it drains all of the above fast. But on the other hand there is nothing like it in this whole world. I wouldn’t change anything even if I could.
Having kids can be great….especially when they are little and just discovering the world and you are the main focus in their lives. The early years you can may be very sleep deprived though!! The hardest part is when they go through their stages of being defiant and as they get a little older it can turn into non stop stress and screaming matches if the child is rebellious and staying out until all hours, etc. The most rewarding thing about being a parent is how much you love them (no matter what) and how proud they can make you. My advice to a young woman thinking about having a child is to make sure she is ready for the responsibility since it isn’t all lovely like the movies show….there can be some truly awful moments. If you make the decision with realistic expectations then you will be fine. I have two kids and it hasn’t been all easy and it has been a lot of hard work, but I don’t regret having them for one minute.
Yes the commercials are true. There is no talking yourself into anything. Once that baby is born you will have feelings like never before. Their smile is one of the most rewarding things. I think the hardest part is when they become teenagers and all of a sudden it’s like, “uh, who is this person I thought was my child” you may feel like “2 years old” is tuff but not after you go through the teens… My one regret was not putting my foot down hard enough when they were little and getting mouthy. Be loving but firm and enjoy every second because they really do grow soooo fast. One more thing, teach them about Jesus and the bible so they always have someone to talk to and they understand.
Well, its more than those diaper commercials reveal. Its a type of love and joy that sounds corny but is truly indescribable. Imagine completely unconditional love from a tiny person you made with the person you love. Its extremely hard yet extremely rewarding. I remember when my son was about 2 months old and I was rocking him on my legs and he just let out this cute giggle…his first laugh. It made me all but forget the eight hours in labor. Its hard, not sleeping and having your whole schedule turned upside down. Youll also find you view your significant other differently. Once your lover, you begin to see your partner in a totally new light. A father, a nurturer. If youre lucky you can become quite a team. If I could give advice,Id tell you that there will NEVER be a time that feels completely right. You may always find something not done yet or feel financially or emotionally unready but nature has a way of preparing you. Also, enjoy every moment if you can. That little baby will only be so little for so long. You can never go back and redo having your first baby so note the emotions and be in the moment if you can.
It’s the hardest job you’ll ever love.
I really enjoy being a parent…..the best thing about it is seeing the world through the eyes of your child like…..first Christmas, birthdays etc…..the hardest part I think is letting the child make their own mistakes….but you do have to so that they learn. My only regret is that I didn’t have more children to share my life with.
Advice: you will only get out of your children what you put in…..there is nothing more true in this is ….you reap what you sow…….so love your child, teach your child, be with your child, I found one of the best times to teach children …..is when you are driving along in the car you can have great chats with no interuptions, about any subject……when I learnt this my son was a C student…..he is now an A student, just because I found the perfect place to connect with him.
Good luck with your decision, if you are doing it right it will be one of the most rewarding experiences in your life.
Well I am 15 but my mother has 7 children as young as a 1 month old to a 7 year old and then me.My mom and dad work most of the time so i am like their mother. To me I love having a parenting type relation when the 6 month old said her first word it is just the most adorable thing to see. It is great being a mother. Then again I have not experienced child birth but besides that i took care of most of the kids since they were born till after the first month which my mom always took care of them for the first month.Good Luck this is the best I can tell you .
everyone loves their children unconditionally. that’s a given.
BUT i also know people put up fronts because it would be horrible to admit that they regret having had their children. i know many people who are utterly miserable being parents. children interfere with everything. from the time their born til the time YOU die.
this world is grossly overpopulated as it is, but there seems to be some kind of trend to reproduce in mass numbers.
people are gonna freak out over this comment, but here goes…..yes, child birth is a miraculous thing, untouchable by any other comparison, however, flies, cows, birds and mosquitos reproduce. just because you give birth does not make you a martyr. anyone/thing can do it.
so i would think long and hard before having children. do you REALLY want them, or is it your in-laws, friends and co-workers telling you that you should??
Being a parent is very difficult, but it is well worth the sacrifices. I was lucky and fell in love with my daughter as soon as I saw her. I am excited to hear her talking in her crib in the morning as I am usually very excited to see her after the night. Although I enjoy her nap times because ai can do laundry or watch TV or do this for 15 minutes, I am always ready for her to wake up.
I love playing with her and snuggling her. I love geting her dressed and giving her baths. I love teaching her about danger and helping her understand “no”. I love giving her meals and teaching her to drink from a straw. I love watching her learn about herself and her world. I love Christmas again, I love weeekends again. It is the best thing my husband and I have ever done, hands down. We love it so much we are having another! I will have a newborn and a 16 month old, but I will only have more to love!
Having a child is the most wonderful, amazing and fulfilling thing that has ever happened to me. Don’t get me wrong there is times that are harder than others but I have not been through anything that would ever make me regret having my daughter in my life! I did’nt have to talk myself into feeling anything the love just came naturally and my loves continues to grow evryday.
* I would say the most rewarding part is watching her grow into her own little person yet still give you so much love and it is a bond that could never fade!
* There are lots of hard parts as well as rewarding but so far for me the hardest part was when she was a newborn and would cry and you do not know how to concole them but you eventually learn what they are wanting and as grow they can tell you more and more what they are wanting.
*No regrets!
* Don’t rush into it if you feel as if you are not ready than wait.
I hoped this helped you in some ways… but trust me having a baby is a majic experience!
Motherhood is both joyful and painful at times. I will say that the painful times make the joyful times more special and meaningful. I have yet to regret becoming a mother so far. Sure I’d love to do more for myself and sometimes I miss the old times before kids, but I cannot even begin to imagine life without them now that I have them.
Most rewarding: To look at my kids and know they are mine. The hugs and kisses are great too.
The hardest part: Not always knowing what to do in certain situations
Any regrets: Some situations I could have handled better
Advice for others: Take it day by day and treasure each moment. If you are getting overwhelmed, give yourself a “time out” so you can gather your thoughts and emotions and revisit the problem at a later time. Don’t be afraid to ask for help!
it sure is. no regrets have one
yes motherhood to me is the best thing in the world. knowing that you have something that is part of you depending on you is a great feeling. hearing the words mommy is the best, knowing that they look to you for the paths in life is a great feeling as well the hardest part is saying no to them and discipline. nothing is regretting about children. i say go for it if your financially ready and mentally ready. im almost 21 and have a beautiful son. good luck if your wanting to conceive.
yuhp. it is.
Most rewarding is waking up every morning to three beautiful children, and watching them grow and discover new things.
Hardest would have to be days like today, my oldest does’t have school because of snow, my work is closed because of snow, so the two youngest aren’t in daycare, and we are all cooped up in the house. Can’t go anywhere because i can’t get my car out of the driveway, and they are bouncing off the WALLS!
Regrets… none. things might not have turned out like I planned them, but they are better!
Advice- go for it!