Comments on: Mother In Law And My Baby?!?

By: Done

Done — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 03:55:21 +0000

What are the circumstances of you guys living there? Because if she’s that annoying and overbearing, my suggestion is to get out when you can.
You might just talk to her about it – she could just be excited to have her grand-baby living with her.
But yeah – since you’re living there, you either need to talk to her or let her do her thing. Maybe what you see as overbearing is her just trying to help.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 03:11:48 +0000

Sorry to say everything in life is a trade off. You and your husband want to live rent free and have her support you both
this is what happens. Move out and you won’t have this problem.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 02:02:15 +0000

similar situation here. I rented my house out to move in with my in-laws. They tend to invade your privacy. One time I’m sleepin with only my boxer. My mother in law just walk into my room to wake up my daughter. And they lecture a lot like they know everything. Its not like I did anything wrong, even my wife get piss off. We don’t pay rent, but we pay for food, utilities bills, cable, that add up to about $600-700 a month. not cheap. Soon after 2 months of living there we moved back out. So I understand your situation.

By: mable369

mable369 — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 23:39:43 +0000

My only advice is to move out…But that doesnt work all the time. Have to move across the counrty. hehe im kidding
I was living with my in laws for some time and my father in law would contradict me in front of the kids. I would say “no cookies, you didnt finish your dinner” he would say “they can have one, look this one has fruit in the middle, its good for them” Him and my ex husband would have screaming matches over it and it would never get resolved… Thank all that is good im not in that house anymore!

By: Becky

Becky — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:11:41 +0000

Move out…the stress isn’t really “Free” is it?

By: Maber

Maber — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 15:20:47 +0000

And I thought my parents were bad…they would never do that!!! That’s ridiculous.
I don’t have any advice, just a hang in there. I absolutely do not think it’s fair that someone believes that because they let you use a room in their house, they suddenly get to control every aspect of your life. My husband and I are living with my parents (for a couple of months transitionally) and they have made it very clear that we are our own household, and they try to treat us as such. If I had a problem with a way they were treating my child, I feel confident that if I approached them about it they would stop.
It sounds as if your mother in law is feeling guilty for the way she raised her child as an infant and is trying to make up for it. It sounds like this because she’s trying to play the mother role, not the grandmother role. Maybe get her some grandmother books to read with the kid, maybe that will help her get out of “mother” mode and into “grandmother” mode? Just a thought…

By: Tapestry

Tapestry — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 10:45:48 +0000

The situation is what you made. If you don’t want interference then you have to move, get your own house, maintain your boundaries. Your husband is right your in their house you are in her domain.
So instead of carping about a mother in law, who fusses over her grandchild, why aren’t you carping about your husband that can’t provide you with a home of your own, where you, the baby and your husband can live together, be your own family and stand on your own 2 feet? (are you saving up for a place or does your husband don’t want to pay rent on a small apartment that at least he could be the provider for?)

By: Isabella

Isabella — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 09:17:51 +0000

I love my exes mother but we lived with her when my son was born. I know exactly what you are going through. I am still annoyed that she gave him his first bath without saying a word to me. I only have pictures of HER giving him his first bath. She was very good to us but it was nerve wracking when she would come home from work and take him to her room for hours saying she was giving me a break.
Unfortunately until you get a place of your own there isnt a whole lot you can do. You can tell her how you feel but she is likely to be resentful. One thing I learned, even though it’s YOUR baby you have to share him or her with family that love you and the baby. You will be glad you did in the long run. My son is 17 now and very close to his grandmother but he knows who his mama is!

By: flasheso

flasheso — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 07:36:59 +0000

i’ve read many of the answers here n the solution is to move out. things may not be that simple. befor getting maried me n my husband have decided to get a place of our own. but a month b4 the wedding my mother in law passed away so now we have to stay with my father in law n brother in law becoz they r both men n there’s no one to cook n do their laundry. its not an easy task when the only ppl making things work r me n my hubby. we cook n clean. we can’t expect my dad in law to do any work as he’s aged.my brother in law doesn’t help on anything but makes life worse for us as he is a super sloppy person. it is not fun to work our *** off or go out on a date n come back to a messy house. sometimes we just have to be patient n pray that something good will come our way. i am now preggo n i honestly do not have the energy to do all housework anymore.i pity my husband as he doesn’t complain when he does a whole lot of things even when he’s tired.try totalk to yr mom in law n tell her that u carried yr child for a long time n sometimes u need the privacy to just bond with yr baby. i hope that should do it.good luck.

By: indie_ba

indie_ba — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 05:46:59 +0000

luvae, sorry to hear about your circumstance – it is a little upsetting when someone else treats your child as their own but maybe you can put a spin on it till the “new baby novelty” wears off on your mother-in-law.
Idea: if your son can wake b4 her, carry him to her in the morning even better let her see him as soon as she gets home from work (she shd be pretty tired by then)
Idea:if ur a stay at home mom try taking him out for walks or to the park creating your own new Firsts for the baby then take pics of the occasion and title them “First day in a sandbox”, “First day on a swing”, “First day at the Zoo”, etc to show her that your baby & YOU have special moments
Idea:if you can stand it leave him with her for short periods while you and your husband go to a movie or for dinner this gives her “grandma time” and may eventually prove to tire her out
My point is sort of reverse psychology, it’s easier to be overly-attentive with another person’s child as long as the duration of responsibility stays short. Hopefully she will continue to love her grandson but allow you the benefit of raising your own child.
Good Luck and enjoy the alone time you have with your son, they are far too few but precious when well spent.