Should I Have A Third Child?
Monday, February 22nd, 2010 at
11:00 pm
I have two boys already. 5 & 3. my husband says it is up to me since i am the one that stays home with the children. here is my problem. both of my boys will be in school next year so that would give my husband and i some free time when he is off during the week. And we like to travel and do things outdoors. my boys are at the age where we don’t have to worry about diapers, bottles, etc. I really want another child just don’t know how much it would change things. If anyone has had the same worries please tell me. I am not trying to sound selfish just confused.
Tagged with: Child • Have • Should • Third
Filed under: Free Baby Stuff
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I don’t think you are being selfish at all. You have a life to live also. If you really want a child and you are in the position to have one and you are financially stable by all means go ahead! If your children are getting to be older it is a perfect way to start teaching them responsibility and how to help out with a baby. Utilize family and friends to get that extra time together or if you really just want time how about you just wait awhile on having the child.
What do you mean you dont know how much it would change things? Did you forget when you went from 1 child to 2? It will be like that, except the other boys will be in school, so you’d had more time with the baby. If you like to travel, it’s easier with 2. Your husband needs to have more input on the topic.
My first advice would be to pray about it! And then, ask yourself this to help you figure out what you really want and need:
When you have reached the end of your days, and you contemplate your life and your memories, which will mean more to you: the memories and love of another child or the extra time you spent with your husband?
And also, when considering the time you spend with your husband, why not set up one night per week where your kids stay with a friend (and another night per week with their kids stay with you) so both couples get one night off per week?
God bless!
If you are that unsure about having a third right yet..I would wait. I have three little girls..ages 3years, 4 years and 5 months. For me, I guess it was best to have them close together. But for you it could be different.
If you are going to have one more at this point, you might as well have two. They will play together like your first two did and will be great buddies. Being the first two will be so much older than the third it might be a good idea for you to think about the playmate situation.
Think of it this way, when your children are grown and you can no longer have children, you will have all the time in the world to travel and go out to dinner.
EDIT~ For the one comment that said that you would have no body, I weigh 120 lbs and look like a pin up model. I don’t have a work out schedule because I don’t have time, I just stay busy and eat right.
I think your not being selfish at all. Having 2 young boys is a handful. Do you think you could handle 1 more. I guess it comes down to if you would rather get a job when your children start school, or if you would rather stay home and start again while still trying to take care of 2 other boys after school.
I get it!
You know, why don’t you have another two in about 5 years.
I have a good friend who grew up that way, it was her and her brother until she was 13 then her parents just said they wanted more so they had two more girls.
I ran into a lady at my Chiropractors office and she had a 15 & 12 year old and a 2 year old – her comment was they have alot of fun with the little one.
I would say to have another set so the youngest doesn’t get too spoiled and has a close sibling to play with. I haven’t been able to talk my hubby into that one yet – he wants 4 more all 2 years apart!
Hello! I would have no sanity or body!!!
Dont ever think of your self as selfish its really hard being a stayhome mom (I know)!!!! You really need to listen to your heart and body, I struggled for the past year with wanting anouther child ,but after the year was up I realized my family is complete .Try some of the things you want to do —then see how a new baby would fit in . just do what feels right for not just you but your family.
No one can answer that one its up to you. Wouldn’t you like a little girl to be daddy’s little girl.
If you have to ask that kind of question, you already know the answer. Children come with great responsibility, and in this day in time, the responsibilities are only becoming more. Keeping up with the Jones’s just so your children can “fit” in with the ongoing changes and, quite frankly, the time that children need to feel secure, having 3 is just almost too much to handle. However, I know many women who have 3 or more children, but the way I look at it, NO ONE could ask me to have another. I am selfish. My babies are my pride and joy, and having another child would require me to compromise the time I spend with them, and the aches and pain and suffering, not to mention the things it does to your body, having another child is something you really really want… NOT SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO ASK SOMEONE ELSE that won’t come help you feed it in the middle of the night. That is all you honey!!!
Both of mine were also in school and I did have thoughts like you, but I decided it would be the best time to have another with the other 2 in school. We are now having our 4th baby (Our last) and Im glad I decided to go ahead and have a couple of more. I just knew the 3rd was definitley going to be my last no matter what, but I just really felt like we wanted another. This is our last for sure, but the diapers and eveyrhting are all worth it.
Why wait? If you WANT another child go for it. Not sure about your age but you can only have kids for so long. You can travel later.
Make sure it’s something you both really want though.
There are 10 years between my first and second child,
You don’t have to have another kid right now you can wait the kids will get along great there is very little sibling rivalry and the older one helps out a whole bunch.
You should do what ever makes you happy.
Definitely pray about it!!
How old are you and what are your reasons for wanting another child? In your question you listed the reasons why you wouldn’t want another baby – so I’m just curious.
I would say if you are young enough to “take some time off” from the baby scene, you should do it. You would have time to spend with your husband, and you can go ahead and “be selfish” and take care of *you*, and then when you are really ready, go for it!
Good luck!
No one can answer that it’s up to you.
Do you prefer man-to-man or zone defense? Right now it’s man-to-man, another child means you have to switch to zone and someone may get overlooked.
I was in the same boat as you. Had two boys 5 & 3. Decided we wanted a third to try for a girl. I went off the pill. We did it maybe twice then decided no, I didn’t want one. So then we stopped trying. Needless to say, my daughter came 9 months later. She was just meant to be here I guess. Love her lots and can’t see my life without her. It is so differant having a girl. Good luck with your decision. As you can see mine was out of my hands, but that was o.k. It is going great and we all adjusted fine to adding another child.
I’d rather eat dung than have another child. I have two 12 and 5. I can’t imagine having to deal with a baby now. If you really want to be around a baby, babysit a little. You get to cuddle and coo and send it home after a few hours.
Go for it!! I’f you can handle the extra work…why not? Sure some free time with your hubby would be nice.. but thats what babysitters are for!!
i have the same problem. my fiance and i already have a 3 yr old and we always had plans to have another baby but i wanted to get married first before we have another child. my fiance already have 5 kids with other women, so thats going to prevent me from quitting my job and being a at home mother. which is something i really want to do. i dont mind the fact that he has other children, in fact i luv them as if they are my own. and i’ve always wanted a big family. i had a complicated pregnancy with my son and he was born with menagitis. sometimes i feel selfish because i want more children and then i feel scared because i know that i have an illness that i can pass on to my children. and i might not be as lucky as i was before. just so you know that you’re not alone.
No. Earth is over populated, and the only way we can solve the over population problem, at least for future generations, is to limit ourselves to 2 children per couple.
i would wait until u are 100% ready for a child and not worring about all the other things before you TRY to have a baby, however, if it happens naturally and unexpectedly, i think your worries will go out the window! good luck to you!!
well,thats up to you. if you really want another child, and you can afford it and your husband says its up to you, then id say go for it. but thats a big decision,especially since you said youd like to travel. well good luck with whatever you choose to do