My husbands best friend of 16 years is having a baby. They were earning more than us,(she is now too pregnant to work), and have always/ still live well beyond their means. They eat out regularly, rent an aunts house which they haven’t paid rent in 3 months, buy designer clothes for them & unborn, have spent $4000 on baby gear,(not including nursery gear)- despite being offered free stuff from a brother who had used his stuff on 1 baby & they just got a personal loan for $20,000- for a car, & a $2000 engagement ring. When we give them advice on how to save, get their own home, save money by buying good quality but less expensive baby items & clothes, buy 2nd hand goods- they brush it off. They say they want only “the best” and it makes me feel like they think we dont want the best for our child or they think their money makes them better than us. We are in a great situation- own home,car-no debt, and they are nearly $40,000 in debt. Should I ignore them & smile or say something?

I was at a children’s party with my nieces and nephews, their parents, my husband and a host of other children and their parents. This particular group of families are all politically independent and prefers to live outside of politics and legal stuff as much as possible. A pretty wholesome group of people.
Very natural, free-flowing people so it is not weird or interesting that this person ask me to take care of their baby boy for a few days. No, we did not know each other or anything. Generally, we exchange contact information and they give me the baby supplies.
My husband and I and our family took the baby home later realizing that the person who gave us the child did not give us a contact number or any supplies. My husband and I went to the store and bought diapers and allergy free formula for the baby plus other minor things to get us through a few days. He immediately became attached to us. We began to think how we would love to have a child of our own.
A few days past and we had to go back to the location of where the baby was given to us because my husband left something there. We saw the couple who gave us the baby. We greeted each other and they seemed very happy. They asked us if we would like to keep the baby and raise him as our own. They explained that they were in no position to raise him, they do not love him and he deserve to be with a family who would love him. They further expressed how they did not want to turn him over to the courts or sign away their parental rights and have him go in the system. They explained how they have been observing us (my husband and I) for a while and observed that we would be a wonderful set of parents for their child. They shared with us some things they did such as neglect him and felt really really guilty about it which is why they decided to look for someone else who would like a child.
That moment was very interesting for us. Both my husband and I agreed but then we asked if we needed to go through a social worker or the courts to have everything switched over. The baby was only 5 weeks old. The parents did not want that because they knew that the social worker would take the baby from both families and put him in a foster home. They feared that tremendously. They were really adamant about the baby staying with us. It was like an adoption without legal authorities being involved. Is there a name for that????
We set up a meeting at our home to have the parents sign papers and agreements that we came up with together. At that meeting the parents gave us everything that belonged to the baby including his birth certificate with OUR names on it, his medical records, his pediatrician, name change forms and a bunch of other papers, brand new breast pump, sooooooooooo many clothes from size 0-3 months up to toddler clothes all organic and mostly new. The only used clothes were the newborn clothes. So many shoes, hats, outdoor wear, crib, bassinet, swing, bouncy chair, 7 different carriers, 57 huge bags of diapers size ranging from newborn to pull-ups, about 100 containers of organic wipes, 12 diaper bags, a play pin, bedroom decorations, baby first aid kits, medications, 4 different strollers, 4 different carseats, and so many things that you need for a baby. They were set and my husband and I did not have to purchase anything.
I had my lawyer present and they had their lawyer present. Though we did not go through the court, we agreed to have our lawyers. I figured we would do this openly where their child will still know them and visit but they wanted to cut all strings. They signed away their rights of that child to my husband and I. They made it clear that if somehow the courts became involved, the whole agreement between us would mean that they gave us permission to babysit. They refuse to sign their child to the courts. They heard so much about the system and it would kill them if they did that to their child. They would rather take him back than to have him in the system.
Anyways, the mother requested that I breastfeed. I do not have any children so I was wondering if that is possible? If I start pumping and stimulating, how long will it take for the milk to come down?
The only concern we had was the cultural difference. We are African American and the baby is mixed hispanic and white. He will one day begin to see that he is a different color from my husband and I. We asked the parents what we should tell him. They said to tell him that he is a special baby.
Anyway, these are my questions:
1. We are are the type of family that prefers not to be involved with legals and courts and the system as well but never thought this would come up. I posted what happened and how we basically took on parenthood. Is that enough?
2. How long does it take for the milk to come down once I start pumping?
3. Should I change pediatricians or continue taking him to the same? By the way, his pe

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Sorry if this is very long, but I wanted to make sure everyone got a bit of an understanding of what I’m going through. I am a first time mom, so all this is very new to me. My sister and sister-in-law (brother’s sister) were asking me about having a baby shower and I asked them if they would want to help. I’m not sure if this is where the confusion started since I asked them if they ‘wanted to help’ versus ‘wanting to throw me a shower’. They both have 2 children, so I figured they would know how things work.
I assumed from the beginning that I was supposed to be paying for everything. They never told me any different. They offered to help pay for some things and I was very grateful. However, EVERYONE was asking me why I was paying anything towards my own baby shower when I started talking about budgeting for it. At one point, my sister even told me that she didn’t think I understood how showers work and that I was supposed to sit back and let them handle everything. She said ‘let us handle this, we’re the ones that have done this before’. So, they basically wanted me to sit back and let them plan everything at mostly my expense. I didn’t know any better. I didn’t know that in their eyes a baby shower was white linens and catered food with little or no games or decorations. They were talking about taste testing the caterer foods and one of them even spent $90 on lotions, soaps, and little prize gifts for the 25-30 people I wanted to invite (after I mentioned I wanted to have games). I had no idea they thought a baby shower was this way or that they would spend that kind of money just on gifts for the guests. They paid for the lotions, prize gifts, and cake, so I didn’t complain. As least not yet.
But every idea I had, they disagreed with. They even stepped on my toes and almost screwed the FREE facility I was able to work out for the place to have the party. Finally, I asked them as nicely as I could about the fact that people were saying I’m not supposed to pay for my shower. They, of course, were quick to say they couldn’t pay for everything because of the economy, etc. And, that they could only put in about $150 each, which they had already spent most of just on the lotions, gift prizes, and a cake. They even said that both of them paid for their baby showers themselves and that they thought I was crazy to think they would be able to pay for everything. (I found out later that each of them had TWO baby showers, with at least one of the showers totally funded by someone else).
Personally, I was thinking of a cheap cake and some cute cheap party favors for less than $50. Maybe, I’m missing something. Hey, I understand that the economy is bad, so I gave them the option to walk away. They didn’t want to. So, now I’m forced to look like the bad guy and only allow them to make decisions based on what they are willing to pay for. I can’t afford to throw my own baby shower on their champagne taste. They even asked me if I could ask my husband’s side of the family to help financially with the baby shower. I refused. I do not think it is my place to ask people for money for my shower. I felt bad enough having to have this conversation with THEM about money. They couldn’t understand that I saw no point in throwing a shower if the cost of the shower was going to be the same or more than the cost of the gifts I would receive. I get the feeling they are more about the ‘look at me’ factor than the actual purpose of having a baby shower. I actually would love to just cancel it and buy the baby stuff myself, but I’m trying to not kill my relationship with my sisters totally.
So, I figured if I have to pay for the food and make the crafty items, I shouldn’t have to run it by them. I don’t have the $400 or more for just the food that they were originally planning for. If I spent that on food, I couldn’t buy the plates to put the food on!!! In my mind, when I thought I was supposed to be paying for it, I was only wanting to spend $300 AT THE MOST to throw the entire party. Does anyone think I’m being too mean? What would you do in this situation?

You can get ideas for baby shower games here then create your own questions / games on a word document and print them.
Just takes time and effort.

i signed up online for nestle’s very best baby resource center, and they supposedly send coupons and checks for formula- i know i signed up for enfamil and got tons of free stuff and checks for formula- when you signed up, what EXACTLY did they send you? cheesy 50 cent off coupons or great formula checks? how many and how often do you receive them? anyone know how i can get more checks? (besides ebay…) thanks!!!

I have a pre-natal doctor, but they are always so busy and won’t be able to get me in today to check on the baby (I’m worried cause he hasn’t moved since last night). I want to call this free clinic I had been dealing with early on in my pregnancy and ask them if I could just stop in and they could check the baby real quick since I can’t get into my docot’rs today. You think they would let me?

People keep giving me baby stuff and our baby doesn’t need anything, but I accept it to be polite then turn around and donate it for the tax deduction. Is this bad?

I’m looking for free baby formula samples or diaper sample for my sister. I found a couple of websie but are there any good one that someone can give me the links to?

I read something a while ago about letting diapers air out of the package so the fragrance goes away and the chlorine releases before you use them. I bought a package of dye free organic cotton diapers and they are super expensive. I dont like the fragrance b/c it always gives me a headache when I open the pack so I can imagine what it does to the baby.
So have you heard anything about airing them out first?

im telling you man, i saw them listed on http://www.sampleaday.com